7 Hacks To Take Your Conversation Skills To Next Level.
BY DEORAO K.
Have you ever wondered why it is so hard for you to keep the conversation rolling for a longer time? Why it is hard for you to convinces clients when compared with colleagues? What can be done to take your conversation skill to the next level and make your conversation unforgettable and mesmerizing.
If this is you then land on the right place,
Many of us will surely relate to this, we start the conversation with full enthusiasm but it ends within a couple of minutes. Our mind goes blank and the conversation ends prematurely after few questions.
After a few minutes of starting we just don’t get how to continue it for a longer time, how to make it interesting and fun so that the person ahead will not feel bored and irritated.
Dopamine is the main role player in creating a spark. The short conversation does not create the emotional hit and doesn’t secret dopamine. On other hand, a long conversation can have multiple emotional hits. The secretion of dopamine makes the person feel happy and overwhelmed.
If your conversation isn’t able to create such a conversational spark, People will get bored and try to leave the conversation in between. And probably they will forget you sooner or later.
If you want to take your conversation skills to next level so that you get to indulge in long and fun conversation and people will remember you forever; you can try the following hacks,
1. MATCH THE TONALITY.
This is the first step to start the interesting and remarkable conversation. Now, you must be wondering what on the planet earth this match the tonality really means?
This simply means while talking you have to match your body tone and posture with the person you are talking to.
For example, if another person is sitting on the chair while talking about an important topic and you are roaming in the room here and there or doing some other stuff while talking.
It gives the signal that you are either neglecting the conversation or disinterested because your body tone and posture are different than him. Because when we are interested in listening or talking with someone copy his posture without noticing it by self, it happens automatically.
In this example when you sit near him, the posture of your body matched with him as both of you are seating comfortably in the chair, both of you have kept your hands upon the table, and looking into the eyes. It will produce the spark because this leads them to think that you are ready to listen and interested in the conversation.
This is because of two reasons one is the person fell valued as you are paying attention and our brain feels attracted toward similarities.
Basically, our brain gets attracted to similarities. We are subconsciously always in search of people who are in some way similar to us.
If you find anything similar in another person most likely you will like him and want to connect with him.
For example, If you see another person wearing a shirt that has the same colour as your shirt or Other person have the same phone that you are using or if you find out that the other person belongs to the same place where you used to stay before.
It creates an emotional spark because they are from the same herd where you belong to. You instantly start getting good vibes from him, a smile arose on your lips and your eyes start widening.
You feel like talking to him, at least to say the same pinch, isn’t it? The same principle is applied for matching the tonality.
Try to match the tone of your body, your posture, and the tone of your voice with the person you’re talking to.
For example, if he is seated on a chair and leaned forward a little toward the table with forearms kept on the table, you can copy the same. Or if they are conversing in low voice, you too do the same.
If you do this subconsciously similarity response starts in our brain and creates an instant connection. There are chances that he will talk with you for a longer time. If you are closing a business deal, maybe he will get convinced with minimum efforts.
So, next time when you want to take your conversation skills to next level don’t forget this tonality principle.
2. EYE CONTACT.
In conversation eye contact plays a significant role. People subconsciously judge your personality and your intent based on how you make eye contact while talking. Such as whether you are interested, bored, happy, sad, liar, trustworthy, confident, or underconfident.
If you create long and continuous eye contact with the person you are talking to it suggests you are interested to take the conversation further and you are confident in what you are uttering.
On the other hand, instead of looking into the eyes you are looking down or looking everywhere except toward the person you are conversing with. It suggests that either you are disinterested or you are under-confident or you are liar or fraud.
I don’t mean you have to look in the eyes for hours, just try to make intermittent eye contact for a few seconds to a few minutes.
Lack of eye contact is a big conversation killer; it will end prematurely without any emotional spark.
So next time when you want to take your conversation skills to next level remember to make prominent eye contact.
Also, read INTERPERSONAL INTELLIGENCE, WHY YOU NEED IT TO LEAD HAPPY AND SUCCESSFUL LIFE?
3. BE YOURSELF.
No matter whom you are talking to try to be in your own skin. Do not try to become who you are not.
Sometimes people try to mask their personality just to impress others. But I must tell you People have a sixth sense of detecting fake people.
No matter how hard you try to disguise they will know you are acting and you don’t mean what you are talking. Once they found out, they will never trust you again.
Because people hate fake people more than anything. Could be because of our evolutionary instinct, our brain considers fake people as a possible danger and tries to keep away from them.
It is not that difficult for people to find out that you are faking your personality, emotion, or intelligence just to impress them or to draw benefit.
For example, you are unhappy inside but faking your emotion and pretending you are happy and at peace but your fake smile and eyes telling a different story. It will be the big turn-off for conversation.
If you want to take your conversation to next level, no matter good or bad just be yourself and the right person will like you.
4. FIND THE CONVERSATIONAL SPARK.
I think this is arguably the most important thing that can make your conversation interesting and unforgettable.
Conversational sparks will hit the emotional center in the person you’re talking to, which releases the dopamine that makes a person feel good and excited. Dopamine hit makes conversation unforgettable.
Now you need to find out the things that create conversational sparks in another person.
For example, everyone wanted to feel valued and important to someone. If somehow you managed to make them feel that they are valued and important to you. Like respect their views and opinion. Praise them if they did something good. Chances are they will listen to you for a longer time.
Or make them feel they belonged to something big or larger than life project. You can take the example of building a cathedral given by Simon Sinek.
Do you remember we talked about commonalities before? Commonalities can emotional spark people.
We like to talk and hang out with people who share something common with us such as wearing the same colored shirt, went to the same school, spend childhood in the same schools, like same sport, follow the same celebrity, work in the same profession or work for the same company.
When we see the person who has something similar to us we feel excited, eyes start to shine and we get attracted toward them.
Different people enjoy talking about different topics. Try to find out which topic they like to talk about and start with this topic, it will create the spark. And once repo happened come to your topic slowly.
You can use your own ideas to create emotional conversational spark.
5. WATCH YOUR WORDS.
What is coming out of your mouth can make or break the situation. Watch your words so that your conversation should not end prematurely.
For example, do not say something with which another person will feel irritated. Do not say or talk about intimidating things and situations.
Try not to say something that makes other people feel disrespected, sad or angry. Do not talk about sensitive or too personal matters at the start of the conversation.
All these things are a big turn-off for most people, they may stop talking with you or probably will cut the contacts with you.
Do your own research about the person you are going to talk to so that you will not irritate, intimidate, or bore people with your words. And end the conversation within a few minutes.
6. ENCOURAGE THEM TO TALK ABOUT THEMSELVES.
People just love to talk about themselves. Rather almost all of us like to talk about ourselves. And If someone is ready to listen to it with great interest nothing is more pleasurable than this, Isn’t it?
Letting people talked about themselves can create a conversation spark. When people talk about self-achievements, abilities, and endeavors it stimulates the brain to secrete the dopamine which makes them feel overwhelmed.
And you have to take advantage of this thing. You can encourage them to talk about themselves.
For example, you can ask them related questions so that they get motivated to talk more about themselves and conversation keep rolling.
Questions such as, Tell me more about you? Tell me more about your new business, tell me about your achievements, about your hobbies, about your love life? What best food anyone can get in your city? What was the fun part of your college life that you can’t forget?
Or I heard that you are a great photographer, tell me more about it. And your conversation will last for a longer duration.
7. BE A GOOD LISTENER.
If the person in front feels unheard it will be a big turn off and the conversation will die prematurely. Because people think not paying attention is disrespectful and feel hurt.
On the other hand, if you are a deep listener, it will make you an approachable person. People around you will like to talk to you. They will approach you to share their good or bad experiences. They love to talk with you.
If you want to take your conversation to next level and make it unforgettable and mesmerizing, you must be a good listener.
If another person is trying to tell you something listen to it with all the concentration and enthusiasm. Make them feel that you are interested and glad listening to them.
Respond intermittently with short phrases like “Yes”, “oh” “Wow” or ask related questions. Don’t pass judgment without hearing the whole thing and do not give your opinion if not required.
By doing this you are making them feel valued. And this is what we all are craving.
He will probably like to talk to you and hang out with you again and again.
Conversation skills are the part of interpersonal intelligence that are important to achieve success in persona and professional life.
Try these 7 hacks if you want to take your communication skills to next level.
1. Match the tonality.
2. Prominent eye contact.
3. Be yourself.
4. Find the conversational spark.
5. Watch your words.
6. Encourage them to talk about themselves.
7. Be a good listener.
It is an emotional connect that two person gets between each other after positive and fruitful conversation.