9 THINGS TO DO BY PARENTS TO GROW CHILDREN MENTALLY STRONG.
Growing children mentally strong is nothing an art and every parent need to master it. But first, as a parent you need to understand the things which can affect the children’s mental health.
In older Days people used to be tougher and fearless. But this fearlessness is losing every passing generation. And the reason is failed parenting. Parents should be more concerned about it. Failed parenting is killing the confidence and self-esteem of children.
In the book, “Iron John” author Robert Bly explained why the generation of baby boomers is less tough than the previous generation. Why did baby boomers lose the masculine trait that makes us mentally strong and fierce. And further in the book “No More Mr. Nice Guy” Author Dr. Glover explained why children are becoming nicer and nicer these days. And how this nice guy trait will affect your lifestyle, relationship, professional life, and work.
Excited to know more? Let’s dive deep into this…
Table of Contents
9 TIPS YOU CAN FOLLOW TO GROW YOUR CHILDREN MENTALLY STRONG, CONFIDENT, AND MASCULINE.
1. EXPRESS YOUR LOVE TO GROW CHILDREN MENTALLY STRONG.
Always be expressive toward your children while showing love. Children are not programmed to understand your sign language of love, you have to express it in the form of words and action.
Sometimes children may know that you love them but if you tell them it has a different impact.
If parents are unable to express love timely children will feel unloved and unimportant.
This will destroy their confidence and self-esteem. They may think that they are not worthy enough to get love from you. Sensitive kids and girls are more prone.
If your children come to know that you love them, it boosts their self-esteem. They feel good about themselves. Parents’ attention and love will make children high-value person and develop integrity in them.
2. CHILDREN NEED YOUR ATTENTION TO GROW MENTALLY STRONG.
Fear of abandonment is the biggest childhood nightmare of every single child. This fear can have the most damaging effects on the children’s mental health.
This nightmare becomes true when parents neglect the children for any reason.
Children need parent’s attention, especially of the father. As per evolutionary instinct mother’s primary role is to nurture the children but the father’s role is to provide them security and to provide masculine support when they feel down and upset.
If a father neglects their children for any reason, for instance, been busy with work, stays out for jobs or business, or neglects them intentionally. It will have a bad effect on children.
As per a study, children with absent parents have more chances to grow insecure, fearful, and a lack self-esteem.
Further, it is found that boys are less likely to get affected and girls are more to get affected by un-available parents.
Children of absent and neglectful parents are most likely to get poor grades in academics and gets addicted to drugs, alcohol, smoking, and other things. There are higher chances that children of absent fathers lack integrity and develop an inferiority complex.
3. STOP COMPARING THEM TO GROW CHILDREN MENTALLY STRONG.
Never ever compare your kids with other kids. This is the worst thing you could do to your children. You are destroying their confidence and self-esteem with the comparison.
Every kid has different talents and different skills. If your child got an average grade in academics doesn’t mean he is not good at tech, art, communication, dancing, or sports.
If you are doing this by any chance, I urge you to stop this today. Find what talent your child has and nurture it.
4. DON’T IMPOSE YOUR DREAMS ON YOUR CHILDREN.
Never ever do this to your children. Some people impose their unfulfilled dreams on their children. For example, a father couldn’t make it for some reason now wanted his son to become a doctor, he is forcing the child to become a doctor because it is his wish. This can become a burden to the children.
If you have unfulfilled dreams, please keep them to yourself. Don’t see it through your kids because he has his own dreams and wishes. Between you and your children, there is a big generation gap and things change with every passing time.
If you have your wish list you want your children to complete, it is not children’s responsibilities. Let them live on their own term.
To fulfill your dreams he has to give up his own dreams. This is suffocating for some children this will make them hate their job/work. They may grow under-confident, sad and people pleasure.
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5. HELP THEM TO INDULGE IN COURAGEOUS THINGS.
Indulge your children in courageous things and sports. This will confront his fear and increase confidence.
Take him/her to trek, fishing, surfing, swimming, campaigning, jungle safari, or boating. Or help him to take part in sports activity, teach him martial art, boxing or wrestling.
These things will make him tough and fearless.
6. DON’T REPRESS THEIR FEELINGS TO GROW CHILDREN MENTALLY STRONG.
I don’t say that you have to fulfill your children’s all wishes but you should not suppress all either.
If you can’t fulfill an impossible wish, explain the reason to them why you can’t do that. When you explain in a good way, I am sure they will understand.
If you do that he may feel unloved and sad. This will hamper his mental health.
7. KEEP YOUR EMOTIONS IN CHECK.
Children are meant to do naughty things. They are meant to do mistakes but as a parent, you have to keep your emotions in check especially your temper.
You should know when to get angry and how much to get angry. If you keep getting angry at small and simple mistakes, it will affect their mental health. They will become withdrawn, reserve, and fearful.
If you are frustrated or had some kind of tension from the workplace you are most likely to get irritated and angry with a small stimulus. In such conditions keep your mind cool when around children. You will feel irritated for a while but you will not regret it later.
Anger always has devastating results.
If your child made mistake, instead of yelling and beating them explain to them about what they did and how it is not a good thing. They will understand for sure.
8. HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN PARENTS HELPS TO GROW CHILDREN MENTALLY STRONG.
Bitter relationships between parents can affect the psychology of children especially sensitive kids. Children become the first victim in parent’s fights.
If you have some kind of differences sort it out in person and not in front of kids.
Little bit differences between husband and wife are normal in every family but if it is taking serious mode like arguments, abuses, and violence. In this case, children grow fearful with shy and socialy anxious.
You need to talk with each other to resolve the differences. If you can’t sort out involve elders from your family or go to the relationship counselor.
9. GIVE THEM FREEDOM.
I don’t say that you set your children totally free. As a parent, it is your duty to guide them when they make mistakes or stop them from doing something illegal and immoral thing. But this doesn’t give you permission to occupy their personal space.
If you try to keep them under your toe, it will make them feel suffocated.
Give your children space, if possible let them follow their hobby or choose a profession. You be the guiding and supporting force.
Though these things seem simple and unimportant but it can have a big impact on children. help your children to grow a mentally strong, masculine, integrated, and high-value person.
Here are quick tips for parents to help their children grow into a mentally strong person.
1. Make children feel loved.
2. Give children your attention.
3. Don’t compare them with other kids.
4. Don’t impose your dreams on children.
5. Help them indulge in courageous things.
6. Don’t repress their feelings.
7. Keep your emotions in check.
8. Maintain a healthy relationship between parents.
9. Give them freedom.
In older Days people used to be tougher and fearless. But this fearlessness is losing every passing generation. And the reason is failed parenting. Failed parenting is killing the confidence and self-esteem of children.
If you want your children to become mentally strong, confident, and fearless; don’t repeat the same mistakes every parent does.
The term absent parents are used for emotionally or physically unavailable parents.
Because of the unavailability of one or both parent-children develop a fear of abandonment. All other effects are due to the fear of abandonment.
Absent parents are more dangerous than no parents at all.
The children of absent parents become fearful, reserved, with a lack of self-esteem, and under-confident. They may perform poorly in school, poor in a relationship, and lack integrity.
Failed parenting is responsible for guys are becoming nicer and nicer these days.