THESE 6 HABITS MAKES YOU INSTANTLY UNAPPROACHABLE.
Have you ever noticed, that your employees don’t really share their problems with you or approach you for your advice or opinion?
Instead, they share with somebody else who is lower in the ranks or maybe has fewer degrees than you. Not only problems but also happy moments they don’t share with you. Possibly because you’re an unapproachable person.
Not approachable doesn’t always mean people hate you but the matter is that they don’t understand the way to share things with you.
This suggests the other person has some qualities that make him more approachable over you and you lack one or more of these qualities.
This is also applicable to your friends, people from your organization, and members of your family.
Being approachable to the people is a vital quality every leader should have rather everyone must have.
Here are some reasons that are making you unapproachable. And what are you able to do to be one.
Table of Contents
THINGS MAKING YOU UNAPPROACHABLE.
1) YOU ARE BAD LISTENER MAKES YOU UNAPPROACHABLE.
Listening is an art. You are a miserable listener and don’t have the patience to hear others. When someone shares good or bad things about them you just neglect them and act like you don’t care. In some instances, you got irritated and furious. This is the big turn-off for people.
If you do this with your people, probably they won’t come to you to share their things with you in the future or they’re going to come as long as they don’t have any option but you.
People feel insulted and hurt by this behavior as they approach you with the hope that you may give them some solution or opinion. Or you will just listen to them with a whole heart to make them feel better.
Being a bad listener makes you an unapproachable person.
If you have people working for you, Be patient and empathetic listener to them from today only. After some days you will notice a change in their behavior.
WHAT YOU’LL DO ABOUT IT:-
Take a real interest in taking note of others regardless of who are they or what their rank is. Listen sympathetically, I call it mindful listening. Respond in between while listening so that they feel heard. Don’t give any suggestions until they invite it.
This may cause you to be more likable and approachable. Though people have problems, they have solutions too what you’ve to do is try to simply listen.
Alfred Sloan was chairperson of GM. His employees use to call him “Silent Sloan” for a really interesting reason. While in meetings he used to let everyone talk, and he just listens. Because he believes that the worker knows the answer to the issues encountered while working. This quality makes him stay in his post for nearly four decades.
Introverts are good listeners which make them approachable person and a great leader.
2) YOU’VE OVERREACTED.
You’ve got the patience to hear others but when people try to tell you something you often overreact between conversations or after they finish. This will cause you to people repellent.
Overreact as in you get offended, awkward, overly emotional, or get intimidated.
If you overact that make you sound arrogant or immature person. And in both conditions, people won’t come to you again. This may cause you to unapproachable.
WHAT YOU’LL DO ABOUT IT:-
When your employees, team members, or friends come to you first listen and understand the whole thing. Just don’t lose your calm. Ask them how are you able to help them. Don’t give your opinion if they don’t ask.
Attempt to determine an answer, if you can’t then don’t make the thing difficult. Because when you overreact the other people feel intimidated.
3) YOU’RE RUDE AND ARROGANT MAKES YOU UNAPPROACHABLE.
You are often rude to everyone around you. When people come to you, you behave rudely with them or give some arrogant reply to them. This quality in you certainly causes you to unapproachable.
Nobody likes to approach rude and arrogant people. If they experienced it once, they’re less likely to return back to you again.
WHAT YOU’LL DO ABOUT IT:-
If you’re a boss or head be polite and humble with people around you. If someone irritates you reply politely. Explain them slowly and calmly, don’t be arrogant. This will make us become approachable.
You might also like to read,
- 9 Reasons Why People Don’t Respect You And How To Earn It Back.
- INTERPERSONAL INTELLIGENCE : WHY YOU NEED IT TO LEAD HAPPY AND SUCCESSFUL LIFE.
4) YOU’RE TOO BUSY.
You are too busy to concentrate or help others. You keep hustling from one place to another or keep working around round the clock and don’t have time for others.
Maybe you’re not busy but you create an environment that makes you look busy such as you keep telling random people about how busy you’re.
It sends the signal to people that you’re unavailable for them. This habit causes you to unapproachable.
WHAT YOU’LL DO ABOUT IT:-
If you’re not busy stop telling random folks that you’re busy. Or if you’re busy for real let your people know when you are going to be free.
If you remain busy for a day, fix certain hours within the day when you are going to be available for meets and calls. This will cause you to become an approachable person.
5) YOU’RE NOT ETHICAL AND YOU LACK INTEGRITY MAKES YOU UNAPPROACHABLE.
You are not an ethical person. You can’t keep secrets, you’ve got a habit of back-talking, you keep telling lies around or keep bluffing people.
Not serious about promises and don’t keep it. You brag too much about yourself or you keep complaining about others to play victime.
Or you indulge yourself in unethical practices like infidelity, drugs or gambling.
This is often turn off for people and can cause you to unapproachable.
WHAT YOU’LL DO ABOUT IT:-
Maintain integrity in life. Everyone likes people that have ethics in life. If someone told you some secrete thing maintain secrecy.
Give up talking bad things about others. Try to keep your word, Don’t brag, stop complaining about your colleague or your job because this may look immature. This stuff will cause you to approachable.
6) YOU’VE GOT BAD MOUTH.
When people come to you rather than taking note of them or solving their problem, you start talking about unwanted things that bored people or create a clumsy situation.
You don’t know how to talk to people and how to take your conversation to next level. You make people feel hurt with your words. In another words you don’t know what to say and when to say.
Generally, nobody likes this type of individual, and that they will less likely come to you again. This thing will surely cause you to unapproachable.
WHAT YOU’LL DO ABOUT IT:-
Watch your mouth and don’t talk if not necessary. Think before talking. A Buddhist monk name ‘ Thich Nhat Hanh’ said that “ Before talking take a three deep breath in and out”.
The importance of this is you simply will get a couple of seconds to think before talking. This trick will surely improve your communication skills and cause you approachable.
CONCLUSION.
No matter how good hearted and talented you are, if you are unapproachable to your people they don’t value you.
To become a good leader you need to be easily approachabe to people who are dependant on you for decision making, opinion or advice.
Being unapproachable dosen’t makes you bad person but not somthing about it will do. If you follow above trics you will surely get help from it to be one.
an approachable person is one who is understanding, friendly and good at heart. That is why you can approach him/her if you want to share something rather people like to share their good or bad things with such a person.
The person who lacks all these qualities is called an unapproachable person.
These people are difficult to reach because of one or several reasons.
maybe he is too busy, not good at nature, or immature. People don’t like them to approach to share something, to ask for help or opinion.
You are unapproachable because you have one or several qualities mentioned below,
1. You are a bad listener.
2. You overreact or don’t have emotional control.
3. You are rude and arrogant.
4. You are too busy to approach.
5. You lack integrity.
6. You have a bad mouth.
Being approachable is an essential leadership quality. If you are a boss, business owner, or team leader it is important to maintain proper communication and coordination. For this you should be approachable otherwise it will become difficult to manage people.
The same thing can be applied to your family.
